I Heard it Through the Grapevine
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The Gift of Nothing

I woke, like most mornings, with extreme dry mouth, the ability to breath through my right nostril (ONLY!) a major case of bed head and the deep, roasty smell of a freshly-brewed pot of coffee.

Aaaand, against ALL laws of this mother's nature (i.e. no one, who knows me, can call me a morning person, EVER!) I allowed myself to be escorted to the breakfast table, eyes shut tight (stupid allergies) and well, I couldn't help but giggle when my youngest daughter announced:

"I was going to pick you some flowers, but the bees are a little cranky, this morning."

Regardless of how hard jewelry stores try to convince us, it's the little things that keep me going, as frazzled, frantic and frequently frustrated by poorly manufactured zippers, as I am.

Not to mention, less than supportive bras.

Don't EVEN get me started on stray facial hair.

Oh, and what rocket scientist thought it would be a good idea to put adhesive wings on sanitary napkins?


Mother Nature can be a real witch, sometimes...um...where was I...oh, yeah...these days, doesn't take much to make my heart go all, you know, squishy.

Breakfast is Served

Like, finding my plate surrounded by freshly-picked blossoms from one of our neighbor's azalea bushes...kidding, it's on our side of the property line...I think.

Mommy's Shell
Or, one of the treasures from our latest beach-combing excursions carefully crafted into a pretty reminder, for my desk.

Mother's Day Card 2011
Well, unlike me (DAMMIT!) this sort of stuff just never gets old, you know?

[bites lower lip]

My 12 year-old son, however, would beg to differ.

"What's with the face, Bub?"

Never one to let sleeping dogs lie...which reminds me...GET OFF THE COUCH YOU BIG DOOFUS-DAWG!...sorry about that...so, where was I...oh, yeah...nothing.


Warning...morale parenting dilemma ahead.

"Glen helped pick the flowers...yeah, and he helped me decorate the shell...yep, and he helped me cut the fruit..."


"No, I didn't!"

Phew!  Dilemma avoided.  Although, I'm not happy my daughters felt the need to lie...for my son.  Still.  Even my husband, Garth (NHRN) thought it was sort of nice that, you know, the girls were indeed covering for their brother.

"I did nothing."

The gift of guilt, however, lasts a lifetime, no?

"Yes, but nothing is EXACTLY what I asked for, isn't it?"

[one beat, two beats]

"Heh, you're welcome!"

Forgive me for feeling all meh about Mother's Day.

Especially, all of you new moms, out there, with your adorable little mini-selves and even though I really do miss that fresh new baby smell, sometimes.

Quite frankly, I want nothing.

Except, for a little peace.

Also, quiet.

Or, for the person who found my tweezers and forgot to put 'em back to, you know, put 'em back.

Oh, and maybe even a second cup of coffee.

Now, THAT...cough-cough-Heather...would be REAL nice.

Little things like that, right there.

But, mostly, nothing, thankyouverymuch.

"Well, then, you're gonna LOVE what I got you for your birthday!"

Yay, as long as it doesn't have a zipper, I can't wait...NOT.

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