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I Felt the Earth Move Under My Buttocks

As you may (or, may not) have heard (or, even care, considering other more important stuff, like, oh, I don't know, preparing for a hurricane, or something) we had a bit of excitement the other day when the earth "Pfffftttt" here in Jersey.

All east coast jokes aside (seriously, I'm from Jersey, we're used to it) what I can tell you is this, I was already sitting on the floor and did NOT panic (at first) thinking:

a) I was helping the girls clean out their closet and, well, it's a lot like playing Jenga, only different.

b) The washing machine was running at the time and I may (or, may not) have overloaded the sucker (again!)

c) A truck busted open that stupid sink hole down the street, or the watermain broke (or, both!)

d) Our house is old, it farts (a lot!)

Until, I saw my oldest girl's eyes go wide (LIKE THIS!) and watched one of their cubbies shimmy, back and forth, like J-Lo (in slow motion) did I feel the floor ripple under me.


All west coast sensibilities, aside (seriously, I get it!) the rest of the kids and I met in the living room and it wasn't because we thought it was an earthquake, at first.

"Is the house falling down?"

It is at this very moment, when I realized, that ALL those years of my joking about the house...falling down around our ears...pretty much bit me right in the buttocks.

Literally AND figuratively speaking, dagnabit.

P.S.  Many thanks to all my west coast friends on Facebook and Twitter for their patience in helping me explain to my kids how the earth typically doesn't, "Pfffftttt," like that, here in Jersey.

P.P.S.  My 10 year-old finally DID manage to put her feet down on the floor, rather than walk her way around the house, on top of the furniture.

P.P.P.S.  Yo, Irene...BITE ME!!!

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Freshly-brewed elsewhere:  Allstate Good Hands Roadside Assistance Program Recap where I get to share a $50 Amazon gift card.  Also, had fun filming this video with the Minute Clinic folks at BlogHer.

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