We opened our pool yesterday and by we I mean Garth (not his real name) did almost ALL the heavy lifting, bending, or basically anything requiring any sort of physical effort, the ability to use BOTH hands (at the same time) or a superior range of motion, while I ran (by ran I mean limp, with style) and got him stuff he asked for, from the shed, or the garage (either of which, turns out, would prove to be a scavenger hunt) in an effort to make me feel...you know...useful.
It's the last week, before the last week, of the last week of school and, well, my kids have already checked out...mentally...as of last week...me, too.
This year, however, is a little different.
My oldest is...[cough]...excuse me, but my first born baby girl...[clears throat]...I cannot wrap my head around the fact that...[swallows HUGE lump in throat]...UGH!
You see? I can't even admit I have a daughter old enough to graduate high school...[clears throat]...without manufacturing mucous the size of a grapefruit (you're welcome!) so, it stands to reason, I should not be allowed to speak, let alone trusted with doing something...you know...useful.
Like, actually start planning stuff for Holly's high school graduation party and Hope's 11th birthday which happen to fall on the same day (GAH!) instead, I beat my head against the wall and try to figure out how I am going to pull it ALL off?
"Don't make yourself crazy, Mom!"
I know, too late, still, my youngest is also graduating 5th grade this year...[cue mucous]...and, well, after 13 years of complaining about the parking and stuff, now what am I gonna do?!?
"Just make it ONE BIG HAPPY EVERYTHING PARTY!"
BRILLIANT!!! I mean, it's not like we haven't done it before (see: The Seven Years of Mommyblogging and Happy Everything) and gosh but I love my kids!!!
"Why are you wearing your brother's boxers?"
So, I'm going over my "Ignore this stuff any longer and you will live to regret it, if you haven't already, trust me on this one!" list when my youngest stumbled into the kitchen this morning and, well, I really should know better to ask, but am not in my right mind...remember?
"Beeeeeecause, they don't fit him anymore?!?"
Guess what just made the top of the list? Go ahead, I'll wait!
© 2003 - 2012 This Full House