Before Social Media, Some of Us Would Use Our Pregnancies, As Timelines
Never being one to tempt fate...[pausing to knock on wood]...I am absolutely sure of very few things in life, like:
- We are all out of milk, eggs, cereal or bread (probably, all four).
- If there is a mosquito in the house, I will find it.
- I will have to either thank or apologize to my husband, at least once, every day.
- Not before the cat uses my stomach as a springboard and pounces on my husband's head sometime around 4 a.m.
- Someone will have forgotten to switch the laundry (most probably, me).
- I will snort at least once, at any given time, in a conversation.
Ohhhhhh...and that the water main in front of our house will break AND at the most inopportune time too!
Then something will happen to exacerbate the situation: like one of the three police officers, unlucky enough to pull duty on a Sunday afternoon at the beginning of a holiday week, drives through the river that is running through our street, which inadvertently buckles the pavement and creates a mini-geyser.
Finally, we will begin to see the humor (most probably, on Facebook):
I will blog, or share it on Instagram and misspell at least one word (stupid man-fingers!):
But, the one thing I am REAL positive about (mostly) is that there will be plenty of family and friends who are more than willing to help me remember it as...you know...not ALL that bad...really.
Not when there are folks out there STILL without power (did you hear, Momo's gone all Little House on the Prairie?) because, as one Twitter friend was kind enough to remind me: water is less important than power.
Having lost BOTH and turning Amish for 5 days last summer, I totally agree.
Aaaaaand then, if I'm REAL lucky, I will find at least one online friend (maybe even two) who is STILL awake and have the best gosh-darned virtual slumberless party ever.
Long live the Three Klutzketeers!!!
[sound of crickets, chirping]
If anybody needs me, I'll be right here...propped up against the kitchen table, waiting for the service people to show up to fix my dishwasher AND washer (both of which are FUBAR!) so, I can...you know...put ALL this water to good use...YO!
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