She Bangs, He Bangs, We All Bang A Uey!
On the Other Hand, My Build-A-Bear's Name Would Totally Be FUBAR!

Call Me Craaaaaaaazy, Talk With Yous Laaaaaaaay-tuh, Maybe

                                                                                        Source: via Liz on Pinterest


My parents had a telephone similar to this one -- we were living in a 4 room apartment upstairs in my grandmother's house at the time -- it hung on our kitchen wall and had a ridiculously long extension cord that would require untangling, by dangling the hand set and allowing it to spin, at least a couple times a day.

Which is really funny, because going into another room for a little privacy doesn't really matter much if you come from a family of LOUD TALKERS.

Somewhat related:  I was working at the kitchen table yesterday (because it's summer break and we only have one computer, enough said) when my cell phone rang.

Me:  Oh, it's Jenn!

Because, I have a terrible habit of thinking OUT LOUD as well.

13yo Son:  So, I guess you'll be talking REAL LOUD then?!?

True story.  Just ask Jenn.  She's from Texas.  I'm from Jersey.  We sometimes have trouble understanding each other and, well, every little bit helps.

[sound of crickets, chirping]

Okay so what was I saying, oh yeah:   cell phones allow us the freedom of continuing our conversations while running errands, dropping/picking up kids at school, waiting on ridiculously long check-out lines, even while taking much needed bathroom breaks (stupid ridiculously long check-out lines, dumbass bladder) and, well, I'd like to dangle some of THOSE people at least a couple times a day, too.

At the risk of shaking my cane and causing a massive load shift in body mass (you're welcome!) as my friend Jenn would say:  if you choose to have a full-blown conversation out in public, or maybe even in the bathroom stall next to me, I'mma gonna contribute, bless your heart.

"So, she said....blah, blah, blah....and I said....yada, yada, yada....and she called me a believe that or what?"

[clears throat]

"That's just craaaaaaaaazy!"

[dead silence]

"Here's my, la,, call me maybe."

[one beat, two beats]

"There's this crazy b*tch, ovuh-heh, I'll have-tuh call yuhs back!"

A little passive aggressive?  Maybe.  However, I live in Jersey and well they cut people here for less.

MOST ESPECIALLY in bathroom stalls...YO!

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