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DIY: I Don't Think It Means What You Think It Does

Confession:  I am a DIY fan girl (not to mention, pretty gosh-darned fond of acronyms) and I may or may not have openly admitted to having a slight crush on Mike Holmes.

By openly, I mean blogged about my crushing on Mike Holmes, maybe more than once.  

Aaaaaaaand, by slight I mean, just short of tackling the poor man in public and demanding that he sign my good knee.

Which, these days, would not ONLY get me arrested (rightfully so, because, you can't just go tackling people in public, especially strangers who make a lot more money than you do, seriously), but then I'd have to convince my husband...my back DID SO give out, I just couldn't get off of the man...aaaaaaaand...try explaining THAT to the nightly news.

Aaaaanyway, what were we talking about?

[blows bangs out of eyes, look at ALL that dust on the television]

Oh yeah, sorry Mikey, adorable as you are, I am SO OVER earring-studded Canadians wielding hammers and such.

Property Brothers
The Property Brothers: because I am a dork and can't seem to embed the ding-danged pin http://pinterest.com/pin/162481499028515009/

Not to mention, double-handy and equally-adorable renovating genius twins like the Property Brothers, Drew and Jonathan Scott.

You see, for all your talk about...ummmmm...I'm not exactly sure what it is you're saying, because I may or may not be too busy being annoyed with the whine-y homeowners, wondering whether or not Jonathan (the muscle behind the redo) will be able to produce the real estate equivalent of a flipping miracle, in the time it takes me to make the simple decision between choosing regular or decaf, while hollering "WHAT IS WRONG with YOU PEOPLE?!?" at the television.

My husband, Garth (not his real name) doesn't like watching television with me, either (especially, on Wednesday nights) and, well, don't even get me started on how Pinterest makes DIY look so gosh-darned cut, paste, let dry for 24 hours and...VIOLA!!!...check out this easy DIY upcycled pergola!

Fibbers.

Because, you know what DIY-ing really means, don't you?!?  Would you like to know what I think it means?!?  EXCELLENT!!!  For starters:

  • Do-It-Yet?:  as it is most commonly used in our house, the most probable answer being, next summer.
  • Don't-Injury-Yourself:  especially, if I am in the room and am mistakenly trusted with wielding heavy and/or sharp objects, then, oh yes, there will be blood.
  • D'OH-I'm-Yakking:  as in incessant vomiting, because...OMG!!!...all the blood.
  • Damn-It-YES!:  after asking my husband, for the eleven-teenth time, whether or not he remembered to charge the screw gun while adding "get new screw gun" onto the list on our twentieth trip to Home Depot.
  • Dyson-I'm-Yours:  *drooling* clean up in aisle...ummmm...wherever it is they keep the vacuums, this week.
  • Damn-It's-Yellow:  who knew there could be SO MANY shades of white?!?
  • Daddy-Is-Yelling:  he's not very fond of white-yellow.
  • Demolition-Is-Yucky:  although, dang if Mike Holmes doesn't make a hot mess look good.

Aaaaaand, the #1 reason why I seem to continually mis-pronounce or type it as DYI:

  • Do-Yourself-In:  enough said.

Are you feeling me?!?

[sound of crickets, chirping]

Stupid DYI shows, dumbass acronyms.

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