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June 2013
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August 2013

July 2013

Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him: Then, There's MY List!

My husband's niece is getting married in two weeks and the kids are ALL invited to, what they've begun to very dramatically refer to as, "the wedding".

They also get to witness their father (you know, my husband) officiate over "the wedding".

Garth (not his real name) recently became an ordained minister (because his niece and her future husband asked him to) and for $25, or something like that, so can you!!!

[ducks to avoid lightning bolt]

Aaaaanyway, the kids CANNOT wait to be able to say, "That's our dad, Reverend Garth (not his real name) up there!" even if it is for just one day.

In other words, "the wedding":  is a very BIG deal.

I thought it would be nice to have each of us write a letter to Amy and Jim, expressing our gratitude for allowing ALL of us to celebrate their wedding...I mean, "the wedding"...together. 

So, I searched the interwebs for some ideas and...holy hints from Heloise...I couldn't help but feel like an old fart (or a seasoned flatulent, for those with verbal sensitivities) especially, when reading newlywed advice like, "How to Show Your Husband You Love Him".

After 20+ years of marriage (which is almost as long as when we were single, YO!) I'm all like, we still married?!?  GOOD!!!

Still, I wish some seasoned flatulent would come up with practical marriage advice.

[one beat, two beats]

So, you want to see MY list?  Based on actual advice, for newlyweds, I found published on the interwebs:

Continue reading "Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him: Then, There's MY List!" »

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

When it Rains, It Pours and Other Stupidly Obvious Things

You know that awesome feeling, when you've managed to handle some really difficult aspect of your life, sort of like mastering a jigsaw puzzle:  everything falls into place, without banging them with the side of your fist?  

Yeah, this is NOT one of those times.

Pouring in Jersey
Cue vague-blogging:  dude, it's friggin' pouring, the lights are flickering and, well, Imma need BIGGER fists.

What doesn't help:  when you've got friends and family going through some really difficult stuff (some requiring the use of both fists, at the same time, even) and, well, am I the only one about to go all...HULK SMASH!!!...and then want to try and fix, all the things?!?

Guess what?!?  We cannot fix all the things, which is a BIG surprise to no one, except me, obviously.

However, I can share a couple of OTHER stupidly obvious things (that perhaps make no sense to anyone, but me) which made at least one person in my family want to go all...HULK SMASH!!!...on my ass:

  • Me, after Garth (not his real name) wanting to know why I would walk from the pool, to the house, in wet feet, while holding 2 pairs of flip-flops: because they're dirty.
  • Me, after his trying to make sense of previous bullet: I just washed them in the pool.
  • Me, after his giving me a blank stare: the flips flops, I mean.
  • Me, after his wondering why I would worry about the flip-flops and not my feet: because they are not my flip-flops.
  • Me, after my daughters' realizing it was their flip-flops I was holding: you're welcome!

Just think, that was one conversation and if you giggled or if the side of your mouth turned up, just a little: then my job here is done.

Moral of the Story: we cannot fix, and sometimes it's even hard to understand, all the things and that's okay.

However, if that doesn't work or the next time you have a similar...HULK SMASH!!!...moment,  just be really, really glad you are NOT living with me.

[sound of circkets chirping]

Oh, look...OVER THERE!!!...there's something really, really shiny in the water.

[the sound of our bathroom door, SLAMMING]

Stupid rain, dumbass bladder.

© 2003 - 2013 This Full House

With a fan page on Facebook and everything!  

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

This Full House Monstrous Giveaway

Comments are now closed: sincerest congratulations to Mary Calabrese (comment #49), Jenn Hammond (comment #3) and Melissa Meyer(comment #42)!!! Please check your email for further instructions :)

My husband, Garth (not his real name) and I have been helping prepare our two oldest girls (mostly ourselves) for college.

Holly and Heather June 2012
look, we're smiling (on purpose!), no more braces :)

Holly (our 19yo) has been working full-time since graduation and will start taking classes, towards a teaching degree, in the fall, while Heather is beginning her senior year in high school -- emotionally, we're ready; financially, not so much.

Then again, with today's economy, who is, right?!?

I am very excited to partner with Kellogg's and their Scare Scholar promotion on Facebook, launched in conjunction with the super-adorable Monsters University movie:  the promotion offers folks the chance to win instant prizes each day and culminate in one grand prize drawing for a $10,000 scholarship in August. 

Here's the really fun part:  I get the chance to share three (3) pretty fabulous prize packs (each including a $200.00 gift card and movie tickets) right here, with you...yes, maybe even YOU!!!

Because, we roll like that.

Continue reading "This Full House Monstrous Giveaway" »

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

So, What's the WORST That Can Happen?

I have a hard time believing that my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I have been together for 24 years:  we met on a blind date in July of...[reaches for calculator]...1989 and were engaged by November.

Because any man who hands his date a handkerchief...in the middle of blowing snot during one of the most saddest movie endings in history...and then takes that same handkerchief back from her...all snotted up and everything...is worth hanging onto, verdad?

Long story, short (you're welcome!):  what makes our relationship work (most of the time) is that Garth (NHRN) is very good at dealing with an emergency.  

My husband has this awesome ability of assessing almost any situation in a very calm and rational Jedi-type manner, while my approach is much more apocalyptic in nature.

Which makes me LOTS OF FUN at the end of the world-type disaster movies -- World War Z, Walking Dead, I live there, every single day!

Because, raising teens and a 12-year old who knows MORE stuff than I do, jumping to the worst possible conclusions is about the only exercise I get, these days.

On the other hand, I am an expert at not sweating small stuff:  because I've already imagined the worst that can happen.

For example:  hypothetically speaking, say one of our girls were to be asked out on a date, for the first time...like in, EVER!!!...my husband and I would both handle it very, very differently.

Garth (NHRN):  if I am not home from work, make sure he comes in to meet your mother.

End of story.

Me?  Totally different scenario:  okay, so I'm going to visit with your aunt and you're going for sushi and the sushi place happens to be a couple of blocks from your aunt's house, so if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or the date goes all weird on you, text me and I will call you back with some sort of emergency that requires you to come home right away and...WHAT?!?...why are you looking at me all funny like that?!?

This is NOT your child and you know we're talking totally hypothetical, right?!?

[one beat, two beats]

Fiiiiiiiiiiiine, at least I don't have to worry about what we're having for dinner tonight, the other 3 kids LOVE sushi.

[sound of crickets, chirping]

Aaaaaaand, thank goodness we live right on the water, don't even get me started on the subject of seafood sustainability in landlocked states (you're welcome)!

© 2003 - 2013 This Full House

With a fan page on Facebook and everything! 

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

Our Stay, Play and Eat Weekend at Morey's Piers

#moreyspierscollageMy family and I were very honored to have been invited, as special guests of  Morey's Piers, to spend the weekend in Wildwood, NJ and meet the famous Morey brothers, in person.  

Okay, so I was THRILLED!!!  

I got to revisit some of my favorite childhood memories of summertime(s) past:  when my twin brother and I would spend our days playing on the beach, as my parents sunned themselves while listening to my dad's favorite doo-wop radio station (WCBS FM 101.1), and then follow the parade of flip flops, begging our parents for "Please, just one more quarter?!?" to play any one of the dozens of carnival games (it was a long time ago, shuddup!) along the 2 miles of boardwalk, at night.

Okay, great, but what really made this family getaway even MORE fabulous:

Continue reading "Our Stay, Play and Eat Weekend at Morey's Piers" »

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.