Big doings here in Jersey. We've got our first major snow event (a.k.a. ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS, if you're from Jersey) creeping up our coast. The kids had an early dismissal (they've already canceled school for tomorrow), my husband's work closed early and, well, now we wait.

The snow started blowing sideways at lunchtime, but the blizzard doesn't really get here until sometime in the middle of the night, because who needs sleep, right?!?

[raises hand]

I have anxiety issues with snow -- especially major P.I.T.A. snow events and most especially driving in it, here in Jersey, home of Asshats On Wheels!

Middle girl: Don't worry Mom, Holly's taking me to work!

Now that we have a kid driving (and two more driving, this spring/summer) the panic that sets in...whenever I hear the words..."major..."snow"...and..."event"...used in the same sentence...goes way beyond the fact that I do NOT do snow...very well...and, well, Eastern-European-types are not very good at keeping a straight face...AND...we pretty much suck at poker, too.

Oldest girl: But driving in the snow doesn't bother me...as much as it does you... Mom!

Truth. Which is why she is driving her sister to work and...you know...I'm not...sooooo, if it's gonna snow, I'm the one who's usually hoping Mother Nature drops a sh&tload of it, right on top of us!

Mother Nature: A'ightden...BAM!!!

So, I'm sorry...New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Maine...Super-Nor'Easter-Winterstorm-Pain-in-the-Ass-Juno is ALL my fault!

The boy: I'm sooooo nervous about this storm!!!

And I seemed to have transferred my fears, onto my 16 year-old son.

Me: Bah, we slept through worse storms, it's gonna be okay!

And by we, I mean my son -- the boy can sleep through almost anything, seriously.

The boy: Nooooo, WHAT IF IT DOESN'T SNOW and WE HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL?!?!

[GASP!]

Me: Oh, the hor-ruh!

He's got mid-terms, this week. Enough said.

[sound of crickets, laughing, from all the way in Flah-rid-duh]

Stupid #snowmaggedon15, dumbass Juno.