I sat down and logged into my blog, for the first time in a very long while, and found a post sitting in draft mode for more than 2 years: A funny parody of Children's Songs I was attempting to adapt for the Sandwich Generation: Think "The Wheels on the Bus" as "The Wheels on the Rollater," going round, and round.
Which I finally deleted (frankly, there's nothing funny about getting old) and then I found myself deleting more than typing—because now, everything I attempt to write sounds really stupid...or a rambling bunch of dumb...which is also stupid...and JEEZUS, I MISS MY DAD!
It's been exactly 743 days since I watched my Father take his last breath, while holding his hand and reassuring him that he lived life well, as his last words to me were, “I wrote a real good story, yes?”
You know how people say coping with loss and grief gets easier with time?
Yeah, NO, it doesn't. Life goes on, yes. Without my Dad.
In fact, SO MUCH of life has gone on since his passing:
- We’ve helped my Mom through open heart surgery
- Stood by our Son as he recited his marriage vows
- I accepted a position at “my dream job” that allowed me to visit Paris for the first time
- Left that same job to help take care of my Mom
- Celebrated our youngest graduating from high school
- Grieved over the sudden loss of my Father-In-Law
- Welcomed our first Grandbaby to the clan
Each and every moment I could have and would have blogged about, but did not—because, honestly, it's ALWAYS felt TOO SOON, without my Dad.
And then I realized something (because, I'm also quick like that): Life continues to move at a fast pace, but there isn’t a minute that goes by that I don't feel the ache of something missing...or think to myself...DAMN, but Apu would’ve LOVED this moment...because, as much as I’d like to believe that time heals a broken heart, no one LOVED and LIVED LIFE as HARD as my Dad.
HOWEVER, here's the thing: The thing is, my Father's story is far from over, it continues with us.
Soooo, in an effort to try and follow through on my promise to my him, I'm going to start blogging life (again) and just write—no matter how dumb or stupid I may think it sounds—I mean, MANY of you guys already know HOW MUCH that man LOVED TO LIVE IN UPPERCASE!
Okay? Okay. Pull up a cloud, Apu.
Here we go, LIVING LIFE IN UPPERCASE!